So have you ever had to "come out" as a heterosexual?

Ok
I'm angry...
There's a certain Australian "parenting" website that's run by a woman who used to edit women's magazines here in Australia that decided to report that Sir Michael Parkinson asked Ian Thorpe if he was gay.  Now because she used to edit women's mags they might have thought this was news... for my american readers think national enquirer with dieting tips.

I have a hate/hate relationship with it.  I also do keep trolling it - but I get bored and I need the laughs.

I think it's more that the site tries to bill itself as being inclusive.

So I got my back up.  I was on facebook and saw that a friend had commented on an article that this site had posted about Ian Thorpe being asked by Michael Parkinson if he was gay.  That was pretty much the crux of the "article".

Now that got me to thinking...
If you look at recent history.
Tom Daley had to deal with so many questions around his sexuality... as did Matthew Mitcham...

Now when was the last time someone was asked if they were straight?

Why do people need to keep being asked if they are gay?
Why?

I understand that people feel the need for gay role models.  You know as a society we shouldn't.  We should just accept that people are people.  And it really does come down to why are people who don't fit into the norm are asked why they are "gay" - I don't get it.

I have been an out gay man for 23 years.
I still don't get it.

People are people.
Asking someone if they are gay is rude.
Same as asking someone if they are heterosexual is rude.
It's not something that should be done.

/end rant

So I was taught an important lesson by my kids

I'm a parent to twins.  It's hard.  It's complicated.  It's a struggle to work out the relationships and everything else.

Olivia has been a bit funny for the past couple of weeks and I couldn't work out why.  Larry and I have had discussions in the past about favouritism and the fact that I favour Olivia more over Louise.  Which I tend to - I think it's my protective instinct - Olivia is smaller and has been since birth, and I guess also being the younger sibling myself (I'm not a twin though) I feel for her.  The elder sibling can soak up a lot of attention - which if you've met Louise you'd understand that too!  I think part of it as well is that Olivia is very introverted (like me) but she's always been capable of entertaining herself.

So try to make up the imbalance between time I thought I was spending with Liv and the time I wasn't spending with Louise - I was spending more one-on-one time with Louise.  Unfortunately I wasn't spending much time with Liv one-on-one.

Olivia has developed this habit of tilting her head to one side if she's upset.  Now for the past couple of weeks when I have dropped the girls off at school Olivia has been very withdrawn and doesn't want to move.  None of the educators could draw it out of her and Olivia has said a couple of times that she was "sick" and just wanted to stay home with me.  Which being the awesome parent I am I just ignored (I did the usual checked her temperature etc...).

So yesterday driving home I finally pushed the point and asked her why.  So she actually admitted because I wasn't spending any time with her.  I was shocked.  I had that moment where I went WOAH I have made a mistake as a parent.  I try to do the right thing by one and I stuff up with the other one...

So we talked about it last night and she did say just wants to spend time with me without Louise.  So Olivia and I are having a Michael Daddy and Olivia day on Saturday.  So far it seems to involve Lego, puzzles and watching iPads.

It was funny this morning...
So I got the Lego Simpsons House for the *cough* girls.  Louise doesn't really have that much interest in it so Liv and I have been building it on and off for a little while.  We started on it again last night and we were doing a little bit this morning before I took the girls to Kinder.  Louise dragged Larry into the bedroom because Olivia and I were having some "alone" time.
I am amazed that my kids get it.  We have two very smart little monkeys.
But yes I learnt a lesson.  There's something my GP suggested that she does with her kids (although they are a bit older) is that her and her husband try to spend 20 minutes each day with each child without their siblings around.  Maybe that's something Larry and I need to consider.

Misadventures with a sewing machine and a favourite blankie

One of the things about being a parent is that you end up with an almost prescient sense of when something will go wrong... it's freaky really.

Take for example.
On Saturday, I told Olivia not to take one of her favourite blankies (we bought it in Mumbai just after the girls were born) onto their seesaw and I explained why.  It could get tangled and ripped, not to mention that it could cause an accident and someone could get hurt (the seesaw also spins around).  So come Sunday... what happens?  Blankie gets caught and rips.  It's almost quite literally the end of the world (hell I nearly cried when I had to throw my favourite pair of jeans) so I promised Olivia that I would fix it for her - isn't that what your parents are supposed to do?  Now I should have realised that this would potentially be a challenge for me.

Why?
I can't sew.  I really can't.
  
When I did home economics in high school we were supposed to make a pair of shorts.  I cheated.  I had someone make them for me.  I only sewed the elastic for the waistband.  I hated the sewing components of home ec - the cooking I loved (duh!).

So coming from a history of complete incompetence when it comes to sewing - I decided to buy a sewing machine probably about 2 years ago with the great intention of building a fabric cubby for the girls.  It took me about 6 months to learn how to put the bobbin in (if you asked me to do it now - I probably would still have no idea - I will only sew things that require white thread until the bobbin runs out) and pretty much pulled the bottom half of the sewing machine apart.  So basically for about 2 years the sewing machine has sat in a cupboard gathering dust (with the bobbin in).

I had to do something about the blankie situation and I did promise Olivia I would.  So here was my personal crisis.  I can't sew.  Child needs favourite something fixed.  Solution "suck it up princess" and just try to do it.  It took me until today to actually build up the chutzpah to do it - but I did it.  Badly but I did do it... I now have a happy child and I have a somewhat mixed sense of accomplishment.

At the end of the day - it's not about whether I can sew or not.  It's about making my children happy and that I did accomplish.

Bibs & Bobs (basically a medical update)

So I had my bloods done again.  Pretty much just after the 2 month mark (I'll update accordingly when I have the actual figures and do a comparison with the original numbers).  My psych has gone on holidays so I had to ring my GP to get the numbers.

Basically my liver is still hurting.  Not as much but its still hurting.  So it's on the road to recovery.  My blood cells are looking normal again, apparently they had acquired a bit of a funny shape (not really sure what that was about - but apparently due to heavy drinking blood cells end up looking a bit distended).  And I managed to double my vitamin d numbers... they were sitting on 50 and they are now on 100.  My GPs advice was to basically stop the supplement and just spend more time in the sun.  Although I guess if anything it's a good indication for next winter that my vitamin d levels are likely to drop.

I'm still off the antabuse.  It was amusing.  I told my psych that I had finished my antabuse and the first thing he did was write me out a new prescription for it.  It's apparently standard practice as it does provide a fail-safe if you're tempted to relapse.  When I saw my psych last Thursday - I was doing brilliantly.  I actually wasn't having any cravings - nada, none, zip.  Fast-forward a week to today and I am seriously considering getting the prescription filled.  Yesterday and today have been tough - I don't really know why.  I think if my stress levels go up - then my desire to drink also increases.  I need to find another stress release really.  Exercise has been helping which has been beneficial for both myself and Alfie.  Rather than taking a walk around Albert Park Lake - I have been taking my little mutt for a walk.  So there's that - my GP suggesting getting into a craft.  I am using baking as my new addiction/stress mechanism and she quite honestly told me to stop it before I start putting on weight.

I'm out of the transitions program.
YAY!!!!
They cancelled it as there wasn't enough people.
YAY!!!!
I'm completely heartbroken of course.
YAY!!!!
As my psych said one of the takeaways is that it does actually show how relatively non-crazy I am.  There was just so much that I couldn't and can't relate to - like people naming the voices in their head.

Although here was something weird.  I got a phonecall yesterday from the clinic suggesting that I do an assessment for their life skills group.  I asked the guy what the program was about - he didn't really know.  But he suggested that I come in - spend $110 for an assessment and they could tell me more at the assessment what the program was about.  What?  I said no.  You don't know what you're talking about - I'm not going to spend the money.

Lose weight by baking! JUST ASK ME HOW!!!

I wonder how many people will actually ask?
I'm obviously not serious.

I went to see my doctor yesterday about a couple of things.  I need to get my blood tests redone to see how my blood sugar, liver function and vitamin d are doing.  Now I normally don't weigh myself - I hate it, always have.  Even when I had a 7 day a week gym habit I would rarely weigh myself, only really when I had my assessments.  So anyway as part of my admission to the clinic I got weighed.  I was 112kgs (ugh!) so on the spur of the moment I decided to weigh myself - I'm 102kgs.  I've lost 10kgs over the past two months.  But I have been doing a LOT of baking.  I've switched my drinking addiction to baking.  It's quite sad! (And the reason why I weighed myself was that I weighed Olivia so it piqued my curiosity .  So yes out of stopping drinking and incidental exercise I have lost 10kgs.  I am left to wonder how much weight I would be losing if I didn't bake so much - it's basically me and the girls that eat most of it - and if I did some structured exercised.  I could be back to my gym toned self in no time (cue Mrs Krabappel from The Simpsons' HA!) - in all honesty I could be a bit thinner and healthier.  All in due time!

It's probably not that surprising that I have been losing the weight.  A glass of sparkling wine is 100 calories and if I honestly think about how much I was drinking... yeah I really don't want to think anout the calories but I understand why a) I ballooned up and b) I've lost the weight pretty quickly.

Other updates:

• I took my last antabuse on Saturday.  Which is fine.  I've not missed it.  My cravings aren't any worse without it.  So it's all good.  It was just another medicine I took so it's like I was consciously aware that this was my non-drinking medication.
• I'm not doing the addictions program - it's on a Monday and a Friday - I have the girls on a Monday so we'd have to get a nanny in and we can't afford it.  Also the addictions program is more to get people off their addictions (apparently baking wouldn't be covered).  I have spoken to my psych about this and he feels that I can't get away without doing it as long as I do what I suggested as an alternative - look at getting a job or getting out of the house to do "something" and go to AA.  I've found an AA group here in St Kilda so I will most likely be going to my first meeting in the next couple of weeks.
• I'm going to stay in the Transitions group for a little while longer (probably just a couple more weeks) mostly as I am getting some use out of it and my health fund does cover my psych appointments if I have group.  I'm turning into a cheap bastard really ;)

Apparently Michael Danby supports Marriage Equality

So here we go again...
Michael Danby (or do-nothing Danby as I have dubbed him) has decided to email me again on marriage equality *sigh*

So the basic gist...
"For the first time, we have an Australian Prime Minister going into an election with a commitment to supporting marriage equality.

It is my belief that allowing all Australians the same dignity, the same opportunities, and the same freedoms is the best thing for our country and I will support any future marriage equality bill."

and further...
"I have supported the principle of marriage equality for a long time and I am proud to be part of a political party that has put addressing this injustice on its agenda."

This is a man who abstained on the vote on marriage equality because he wasn't going to vote because it was going to be defeated anyway (or something along those lines).

So the obligatory response that will undoubtedly like all my emails to him will get absolute no response.

"Dear Mr Danby,

I really find it galling that you have the audacity to tell me that you are a supporter of marriage equality that when I have contacted you and your office at least 4 times over the last federal term to receive no response in regards to marriage equality issues.

Also I also find it quite insulting that you are saying that it is disappointing that Mr Abbott won't allow his parliamentarians a conscience vote - which as was proven - it is non-binding.  A liberal crossed the benches to vote in support of marriage equality.  You are telling me that you are a supporter of marriage equality, when the last bill came to parliament, why didn't you vote?  

Mr Danby you chose to not vote for marriage equality so in that spirit and considering the support you have physically shown - you can in fact not count on my vote.

I wish you the best of luck.

Regards,
Michael Verhoef

And also I have unsubscribed for your email list so please do not send me anymore unsolicited emails."

Trying to explain surrogate birth to nearly 4 year olds...

Is actually quite difficult...

We ended up having a conversation with the girls last night which turned into the first conversation about them being born through a surrogate.  I wasn't quite sure when we could expect to have this discussion.  I wasn't prepared for it and I have no idea of how well we covered it.

Louise and Olivia get they have two daddies and they are different from other families.  I really hate describing our family as different and have avoided saying that around the girls.  We have been able to highlight diversity in different family structures so they do know we are not that far from the norm.  They do understand that they don't have a "mummy" so then trying to explain that they came out of a surrogate's tummy was met with disbelief.  We do have the photos (see!).

I'm not sure if the larger confusion comes from the concept of birth in general, the lack of a mother, or trying to understand surrogacy.  "Babies don't come from tummies!" "She didn't eat us!"  It was an amusing conversation in some regards.

I guess the major thing is that we have crossed the bridge and introduced the concept that they were born via a surrogate.