One of the things about being a parent is that you end up with an almost prescient sense of when something will go wrong... it's freaky really.
Take for example.
On Saturday, I told Olivia not to take one of her favourite blankies (we bought it in Mumbai just after the girls were born) onto their seesaw and I explained why. It could get tangled and ripped, not to mention that it could cause an accident and someone could get hurt (the seesaw also spins around). So come Sunday... what happens? Blankie gets caught and rips. It's almost quite literally the end of the world (hell I nearly cried when I had to throw my favourite pair of jeans) so I promised Olivia that I would fix it for her - isn't that what your parents are supposed to do? Now I should have realised that this would potentially be a challenge for me.
Why?
I can't sew. I really can't.
When I did home economics in high school we were supposed to make a pair of shorts. I cheated. I had someone make them for me. I only sewed the elastic for the waistband. I hated the sewing components of home ec - the cooking I loved (duh!).
So coming from a history of complete incompetence when it comes to sewing - I decided to buy a sewing machine probably about 2 years ago with the great intention of building a fabric cubby for the girls. It took me about 6 months to learn how to put the bobbin in (if you asked me to do it now - I probably would still have no idea - I will only sew things that require white thread until the bobbin runs out) and pretty much pulled the bottom half of the sewing machine apart. So basically for about 2 years the sewing machine has sat in a cupboard gathering dust (with the bobbin in).
I had to do something about the blankie situation and I did promise Olivia I would. So here was my personal crisis. I can't sew. Child needs favourite something fixed. Solution "suck it up princess" and just try to do it. It took me until today to actually build up the chutzpah to do it - but I did it. Badly but I did do it... I now have a happy child and I have a somewhat mixed sense of accomplishment.
At the end of the day - it's not about whether I can sew or not. It's about making my children happy and that I did accomplish.
So I had my bloods done again. Pretty much just after the 2 month mark (I'll update accordingly when I have the actual figures and do a comparison with the original numbers). My psych has gone on holidays so I had to ring my GP to get the numbers.
Basically my liver is still hurting. Not as much but its still hurting. So it's on the road to recovery. My blood cells are looking normal again, apparently they had acquired a bit of a funny shape (not really sure what that was about - but apparently due to heavy drinking blood cells end up looking a bit distended). And I managed to double my vitamin d numbers... they were sitting on 50 and they are now on 100. My GPs advice was to basically stop the supplement and just spend more time in the sun. Although I guess if anything it's a good indication for next winter that my vitamin d levels are likely to drop.
I'm still off the antabuse. It was amusing. I told my psych that I had finished my antabuse and the first thing he did was write me out a new prescription for it. It's apparently standard practice as it does provide a fail-safe if you're tempted to relapse. When I saw my psych last Thursday - I was doing brilliantly. I actually wasn't having any cravings - nada, none, zip. Fast-forward a week to today and I am seriously considering getting the prescription filled. Yesterday and today have been tough - I don't really know why. I think if my stress levels go up - then my desire to drink also increases. I need to find another stress release really. Exercise has been helping which has been beneficial for both myself and Alfie. Rather than taking a walk around Albert Park Lake - I have been taking my little mutt for a walk. So there's that - my GP suggesting getting into a craft. I am using baking as my new addiction/stress mechanism and she quite honestly told me to stop it before I start putting on weight.
I'm out of the transitions program.
YAY!!!!
They cancelled it as there wasn't enough people.
YAY!!!!
I'm completely heartbroken of course.
YAY!!!!
As my psych said one of the takeaways is that it does actually show how relatively non-crazy I am. There was just so much that I couldn't and can't relate to - like people naming the voices in their head.
Although here was something weird. I got a phonecall yesterday from the clinic suggesting that I do an assessment for their life skills group. I asked the guy what the program was about - he didn't really know. But he suggested that I come in - spend $110 for an assessment and they could tell me more at the assessment what the program was about. What? I said no. You don't know what you're talking about - I'm not going to spend the money.
